Letting go of the Negative Ego

"Live like there is no tomorrow, wallow in all the happiness that comes your way, and never look back. Let go of old grudges." ~ KoC in Around the Tarot in 78 Days

With so much at hand, I decided it was time to pull some cards for myself. This was four days ago. They've been sitting there looking at me ever since. Begging me to define them, be the voice to their message. Unfortunately, I must admit they've caught me a bit off guard. Not because their meaning seems difficult to decipher, but because the message is hard to swallow. The end is fast coming and I am having a hard time letting go and allowing those working on my behalf to do just that.

I decided on a basic three card spread, and added two additional cards to clarify:

          2.           3.
1.        
              4.          5.

1. What's at hand  2. Advice  3. Outcome 4. How to deal with my current situation 5. Summary

Cards pulled:
1. King of Cups 2. Death 3. Queen of Swords in Reverse 4. 3 of Swords 5. Queen of Wands


1. Right off the hop, I noticed 3 Court cards had come to play. Instinctively I knew the Queens for who they were… me, but I'll get to that later. It's the King of Cups, however, that has kept me stuck. Even as I write this I am conflicted with him representing a person in my life, or his qualities as represented in my life.

Instinctively, I go to him as a message rather than a person. Which works well with the KoC, as his is a realm built on instinct. He is the master of intuition. He is also patient, something which I am working on, overtime, right now. My time here in Ottawa is coming to an end, and for that I'm thankful. Normally, I would be over obsessing about where I'm going to live, sending out resumes like a mad woman, freaking out about getting all the arrangements done, dates and times set and ensuring that everyone is on board with my plan. This time around I can't. And not even just be cause I don't want to. I am physically, emotionally and mentally unable. There seems to be this big wall of mist that I walk into every time I try to take control, landing me on my back with a massive headache or extreme exhaustion. I was worried about my blood pressure and the tingling I get when I try to get over involved… but my numbers are optimal. Physically, I am in great shape.

What I think I'm running into is universe it's self. Literally. It is shielding me, keeping me from past behaviours and making me rely on others to get it done. And believe me, I don't do that easily and yet, everything seems to be okay and getting done. This is my new beginning, and it starts with trusting that everything I have done in the past has laid down the ground work for where I am going.

2. Death. Again, with so many court cards in this pull, and the state of these ridiculous self inflicted headaches I've been getting, I must admit, the death card makes me a little nervous as I am of the schooling that the Death Card means just that, and it does not deferentiate between events or people. Because my query was specifically situational versus person(s) specific, and the relation between the original three cards, it solidifies what I already know. Who and what I've been up to this point is coming to an end. Death come swiftly, as I am ready to be reborn.

New Moon in Scorpio

3. Time and time again I tell people, my favourite card is The Empress, and my most hated card is The Queen of Swords in reverse. One hates most in others that which he sees reflected in his shamed self. If anyone must die, let it be her in me. The mean, jealous and finger pointing self that can get so wrapped up in what and who I thought I should have been. Yes, that's me, boiling the bunny in a pot, screaming at the top of my lungs "I did this all for you and what did I get in return? RRROOOAAARRR". It's silly and of that I am sure!
However, it is said that it is virtually impossible to cut your own arm off, thus, making it much easier to cut off someone else's. I have a few arm bones in my closet of skeletons.

We've just been graced by a New Moon and as if it were a gift from universe, I happened upon the following passage;

This New Moon in Scorpio is the time to "Face the Death of the Negative Ego." Cathy McClelland. Brilliant.

4. As confirmation to that which needs to die in my life, I pulled the 3 of Swords. No surprises there. Every time I see this card I am reminded to experience my emotions. I turned to my tarot notes, and smiled when I read a personal reflection of this card… New Beginnings out of Loss.


5. The Queen of Wands. In all the cards in this deck, there are two that I believe are a reflection of myself and who I strive to be: Strength and The Queen of Wands. The KoC and the QoW are a beautiful marriage of personalities. Both creative, strong with a solid sense of spirit. The Queen of Wands is a woman who is connected to her whole self, she naturally embraces all four elements and walks through life with confidence and grace. A smile to spare for all she sees.

As a final confirmation, I decided to connect with my angel cards, something I haven't done in forever… and who but Francesca came to visit, asking me to visualize what I want, and it will be. Reminding me that negativity will do nothing but block my progress.

Imagine, at the end of all of this, and I finally get to be who I'm truly meant to be.

Dreaming of the red carpet,
)o(
Amanda

Slow Down Savvy Sistah. Slow Down.

Three things happened to me yesterday.

First, I pulled 4 cards that basically told me to put my plans on hold, rethink what I'm doing and stay low. Fine. Not my favourite answer considering I asked Spirit if I was going in the right direction with my business idea and planning of the future. Oh ya, ye ol' Hermit dropped out of my hand, too. Spirit couldn't have been anymore clear.

Says The Hermit ~ Wait for the fog to clear, your path will be much clearer.

Then I volunteered on the #daytimeottawa show, to be graced with a 7 minute speaking engagement by the "Slow Coach" himself, Carl Honoré. His message:

"Solve Problems, Work Smarter and 

Live Better in a World Addicted to Speed."

How? By slowing down. His theory suggests that the more you slow down, the faster things will come together. Hmph.

Finally, that evening, there was a few things I could have and should have done. I decided, however, that I needed to find the beads for the #ministarlite's halloween costume... you guessed it... now!

One quick trip to Michael's another downtown to Sassy Beads, two and a half hours later and stuck in traffic... I have no beads. My hast led to a long evening of nothing getting done.

Honoré suggests most people will come to terms with slowing down when a crisis happens in their life. Typically health related. Well, I'm physically fine... am sure I'll pass most if not all health checks. So that is not why Universe is so clearly telling to chill out. 

Actually, it is this move home that has me freaked out. I have spent the last 6 years whining and complaining about being in Ottawa, and that the best thing that could ever happen to me is moving home. Well, I'm coming home. Tell the world. And when you do, let the world know too, that I pissed 6 years away by freaking out in the fast lane. Instead of taking this opportunity to make and mold myself while I was in the comfort of my own time, I blew through everything and in the end, I have accomplished nothing.

The Phantomwise Tarot - The Hermit

Herein lies the fundamental problem as to why I think we as a society are addicted to speed: it allows us to not have to think it through. If we allowed ourselves the time to think, we would be overwhelmed by the situations we've put ourselves in. We would then have to be accountable, accommodate, sacrifice, purge... and worst of all say no. No I don't have time for you today because... 

Imagine if you slowed down, and learned to say no I'm busy with this specific thing right now that has my complete attention. Maybe your inbox (soft and hard) would be empty and/or manageable by end of day. You might finish a book, from cover to cover. You might watch your children excel in one or two things instead of being kinda good at a lot of things, but not really being sure because you've missed so much of it running around. Imagine having time to bake a real cake on a Sunday morning, with no to-do-list hanging on your conscience?

Yah... me too... the thought of being in control stresses me out more than the thought of being completely out of control. 

I am in control of my addiction to speed. I'm always looking for my next hit. And I will do whatever it takes to make sure I've got one more thing that needs to get done.

One of the main principles behind being an IndigoSpirit is simplicity. At least now I know why learning to live a simple life is so damn hard. I haven't learned how to slow down.

Much Love,

Amanda

Talk to me!!

Do you need speed to succeed?

What is that one thing you could do, today, to slow it down just a notch?

Tarot Tuesday - Page of Pentacles

Week One ~ Around the Tarot in 78 Days with Marcus Katz & Tali Goodwin

Page of Pentacles

"I am the voice from deep within that urges you to carry on and follow your destiny"

I feel like I'm stuck, not sure what to write... and thus begins my journey with the Page of Pentacles. If he was sitting across from me right now he would tell me to write whatever comes to my mind.  Don't over think it... keep it simple.  How fitting as I begin to define my voice in the mysteries and magik of Tarot.

At the beginning of my journey with Tarot, this little dude was one of the Courts that I avoided and tended to cringe when he showed face.  Didn't really get what he was about until I connected him with a 'personality'. Without hesitation and within seconds, Frodo Baggins came to mind. Quite literally Elijah Wood, actually.  Everything about his portrayal of the character and the traits associated with this little dude just seem to make sense.

Lets consider a few keywords that I work with: Earthy, a spirited love for nature with a need to honour all that life/nature has to offer, realistic, innocent honesty, diligent and loyal.  There is also great interest in learning, goal oriented, focused and financially savvy.  Finally, my little Frodo is committed.  He's the die hard friend that will be by your side and think 'it' through on your behalf. Young and full of curiosity, he might just come along on your mis-adventures, even when he knows better.

The Page of Pentacles is the cliché ~ It is what it is ~ and you just have to love hime for it.  As the "significator" to my 78 week journey, I love how Katz & Goodwin start the week of with the following PoP caption "Humble Beginnings | Delivery of Good Fortune".  Are you seeing the connection?  Frodo of the Shire | Frodo the Saviour of Middle Earth.  I work with the Running Press mini deck, where you'll find the Page dancing on strawberries (something I can totally picture growing in the shire) and hanging onto/playing with a ring of keys... need I say more?

Love and Light,
Miss A

Follow me on twitter for daily inspirations @diycelebrity

Reprogramming with Crystal Energy

I've always had a fascination with Crystals, and the therapeutic energies behind them.  As I work on sweeping away old habits, I'm excited to bring in new, natural and ancient energies.

I started with what seemed a natural new year stone.  Aquamarine.  The mainframe of my 2013 resolution is a commitment to my career, and making decisions and trying things I would never normally do.  I've trapped myself in a box of thinking/reminiscing on what I used to who, who I could have been, and where I should be.  I've been doing that for several years, only to realize now I'm a few desperate seconds away of boxing myself in permanently.  

Aquamarine is said to give you that extra little push... the courage to do.  Encouraging the holder to take responsibility for self, I was a little taken a back by how strong this little "gem" of a stone sharpened my focus.  "Threw it in my pocket and literally pounded the pavement and opened doors with confidence I long forgot I ever had."  It is extremely calming and truly eliminates noise.  With an affinity for communication, this has been an excellent tool in my sales ability and habits.

I think what I've enjoyed most about having this piece in my personal collection, is its ability to help me break some of my old and defeating self talk.  Specifically with respect to my attitude and work habits.

Aquamarine is my pick of the month for February.  Enjoy its ability to open your throat chakras and open your voice to new found confidence.

Love and Light,
Miss. A

Discover more about Aquamarine here.